Here by the sea again, and as October rolls in, it’s a season for reflection. For me, that always means reaching for a pen and paper. So, this morning, I jotted down a few thoughts—little traps I tend to stumble into, reminders I give to myself.
I wrote it as if I were offering advice to myself (and maybe it will resonate with you too). A short two minute read of what’s been on my mind.
If it helps you, that’s a bonus.
We spend a lot of time worrying about what others think. The decisions we make, the way we talk, the work we do—it often comes with this underlying anxiety about how we’ll be perceived. We assume that everyone is paying close attention, critiquing every move. And so, we adjust. We polish ourselves up, not for what feels right to us, but for what we think will please them.
But here’s the twist: most of the time, no one’s really watching that closely. Sure, they might glance, nod, or comment briefly, but the truth is, they’re too busy thinking about their own stuff. Their own problems, worries, and insecurities. Yet, we build this narrative that we’re under constant observation, and it shapes our actions in ways that leave us feeling disconnected from our own desires.
The energy we spend trying to anticipate and manage how others perceive us is wasted. In the long run, it’s exhausting and unsustainable. More than that, it’s pointless. People’s thoughts about you are fleeting, often superficial. But we turn them into heavy weights that hold us down.
The real freedom comes from understanding this: you’re the only one who’s truly living your life. When you stop shaping yourself for an audience that’s barely paying attention, you can start doing the work that actually matters to you. You can make choices that align with your values, not someone else’s fleeting opinion.
And that brings us to two traps you need to avoid:
Caring about what they think.
Thinking they care.
Sea's The Day 